June 2009
2 posts
junglejustine:
I’m upset. Goodnight.
Aw. Will a slap help you feel better?
March 2009
92 posts
how to make an angry bartender.
insidethebox:
saintnate:
Girl: Okay…so…can you make me a lemon drop martini?
Let’s stop right there. Look around the fucking bar. Do you see a shit-load of people there? They don’t want to see me spending so much fucking time to make one shitty martini. Sugar the rim. Chill the glass. Pour the liquor. Squeeze the lemon. Shake. Empty the ice from the martini glass. Strain the martini. Garnish....
My good luck omens
havent-got-a-prayer:
-black cats -open windows -the number thirteen -wildflowers -the king of hearts -strangers with a twinkle in their eye
-slapping you
-slapping you
-slapping you
-slapping you
-slapping you
-slapping you
“I really hate what my face looks like after I cry.”
– (via lifeisprettywoman) *hugs* (via lovehopehate)
Imagine what your face would feel like after I slap you.
junglejustine:
Sometimes I feel like I’d be a lot nicer if someone would start loving me.
How would you feel if someone would start slapping you?
natface:
“All I did was ask for a diet slice of pita chips!”
— Tracy Jordan
All that you are asking for is a slap.
nechamaelle re: Big Ben - I said "et cetera". :-)
nechamaelle:
(via inothernews)
Yes, referring to both Big Ben and Little Ben. (Which are both located in London. FYI, I don’t live there. But I did do the red bus tour there one time and I did see it.
Was there something else you were trying to say?
Wow, you truly are insufferable aren’t you? You may not live in London but surely you’re familiar with a certain analog clock. If...
Sean Connery as bond makes me spine-shiver.
(via pie0)
You as a person makes me palm-shiver.
Someone please slap me for speaking in the third...
(via shebs)
Your wish is my command
*SLAP*
Poem for Licky
inothernews:
Slapping, I’d rather be,
a face slapping symphony:
more slaps,
more slaps,
on beach
in Aruba.
Fixed.
LOL.
onlymichelle:
It’s just the internet. Stop letting it take over your life. These people don’t really know you so stop acting like they can hurt your feelings. Don’t put my name in your mouth if you don’t know me, silly.
SO SAYS TARA FUCKING MICHELLE.
SLAP.
drunk IMing is fun.
(via pie0)
Slapping people like you is even more fun.
Also, how is it corny?
What poor, slap-deserving diction.
justinesamantha:
Getting slapped via the internet was funny but now it’s corny.
Just saying.
Awww, we hurt your feelings over here? Let us lead you back into slaptopia. With a slap.
Ladies, we need more backbone.
(via justinesamantha)
More than anything, you need a backhanded slap.
Hello,
sistermarymartha:
Look what I am getting for you, boo boo.
You may think this is all funny and I am joking around. Ha Ha.
But the truth is, If I were to ever meet you in person, I would slap your face at the speed of 88 MPH so hard that you would go back to the year 1857.
Be my illusion and I'll be your distraction.
(via allthatglittersispink)
BE MY ILLUSION AND I’LL BE THE PERSON WHO SLAPS YOU.
Hay Sister? That dude? All talk. I'd break his...
(via inothernews)
You’d break your hand on the iron clad slap we’d return. REFLEXES SO FAST
Hold up: Slap Vigil.
for one PocketNovel, the likes of whom all of us on Tumblr only wish we could still slap. Perhaps in a slap draught, I can go through the archive and remind us all of what truly constitutes good slap material.
AW, shit. Kids. This slapping fool makes me laugh.
sistermarymartha:
I ain’t mad.
AW, shit. Kids. When this slapping fool is done slapping you, we’ll see who laughs.
justinesamantha:
Sex, I like having it. Haven’t in awhile. I want to but don’t want to at the same time.
Ugh.
How hard a slap would it take to make you shut up?
Charlene,
sistermarymartha:
herheadhurts:
sistermarymartha:
someday, I am going to do a barbecue tour of the south. I can spend hours watching the barbecue shows on Food Network. HOURS AND HOURS. My ex and I used cook out in the summers, and together- we made some mean ribs. I am partial to a dry rub, with just a slight coating of sauce during the last few minutes on the grill.
Oh Sister, you just made...
“Are you a model? No. You’re the idiot who got dressed up for class. OVERDRESSED...”
– Slap Club
Um, actually, she is a model. It’s right there in her banner.
(via katoleary)
Oh, you’re right, that makes her idiocy all better.
Wait, no, it doesn’t. WAY TO IGNORE THE POINT SLAP
Swore I wouldn't live blog American Idol, but...
(via kaytee)
A slap of the hardest kind is obligatory when one starts to liveblog American Idol.
No questions asked.
I am baking cookies
joshawesome:
Peanut butter cookies. It is either that or I strangle something.
Please go ahead and bake them. As if you need to get fatter.
GREED SLAP.
I guess in my old age I enjoy a nice clean blog.
urbanredneck:
this is odd.
had you ever seen me in my prime myspace days…
hahaha.
<3 my new theme.
<3 to slap you.
lol
missamerica:
i really love sluts<3
LOL
I really love slapping people <3
172. THE GREATEST THING YOU'LL EVER LEARN, IS JUST...
lovehopehate:
thejoo:
(via gotwisdom)
And the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is how to get slapped, but not slap in return. Because really, who deserves it more than you do?
kurisutin:
“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
—
Groucho Marx (for Kurisutin ;-) (via dominilucy)
it makes sense…
Like a hard slap?
kaytee:
breathe.
Slap