Slap Club

junglejustine: I’m upset. Goodnight. Aw. Will a slap help you feel better?

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 08:39:44 -0400

junglejustine:

I’m upset. Goodnight.

Aw. Will a slap help you feel better?

havent-got-a-prayer: Marisa and I are fucking fierce. Slaps for...

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 08:38:00 -0400

havent-got-a-prayer:

Marisa and I are fucking fierce.

Slaps for anyone who says fierce unless they are Tyra Banks.

Edit: No, even her.

how to make an angry bartender.

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:40:51 -0400

insidethebox:

saintnate:

Girl: Okay…so…can you make me a lemon drop martini?

Let’s stop right there. Look around the fucking bar. Do you see a shit-load of people there? They don’t want to see me spending so much fucking time to make one shitty martini. Sugar the rim. Chill the glass. Pour the liquor. Squeeze the lemon. Shake. Empty the ice from the martini glass. Strain the martini. Garnish. Serve.

Yes, it must be so frustrating having to do your job.

I’m just going to sit back here and relax after that winner.

havent-got-a-prayer: SNPT. AWHS* *ATTENTION WHORE HARD SLAP

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:26:42 -0400

havent-got-a-prayer:

SNPT.

AWHS*

*ATTENTION WHORE HARD SLAP

My good luck omens

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:25:10 -0400

havent-got-a-prayer:

-black cats
-open windows
-the number thirteen
-wildflowers
-the king of hearts
-strangers with a twinkle in their eye

-slapping you

saintnate: GPOYW: “Old School” edition Awww… did someone...

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:20:56 -0400

saintnate:

GPOYW: “Old School” edition

Awww… did someone slap you?

joshawesome: GPOYW - ‘06 old school. This was the beginning of...

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:19:53 -0400

joshawesome:

GPOYW - ‘06 old school. This was the beginning of the short hair. I dropped the fro and haven’t let it grow out since.

If I slap you hard enough, will you stop posting pictures of yourself?

"I really hate what my face looks like after I cry."

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:19:02 -0400

“I really hate what my face looks like after I cry.”

- (via lifeisprettywoman) *hugs* (via lovehopehate)

Imagine what your face would feel like after I slap you.

junglejustine: Sometimes I feel like I’d be a lot nicer if someone would start loving me. How would...

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:17:28 -0400

junglejustine:

Sometimes I feel like I’d be a lot nicer if someone would start loving me.

How would you feel if someone would start slapping you?

Presented without comment.

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:15:58 -0400

Presented without comment.

pie0: justlia:jaim:via You make me want to slap you.

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:15:20 -0400

pie0:

justlia:jaim:via

You make me want to slap you.

natface: “All I did was ask for a diet slice of pita chips!” — Tracy Jordan All that you are...

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 22:13:58 -0400

natface:

“All I did was ask for a diet slice of pita chips!”

— Tracy Jordan

All that you are asking for is a slap.

nechamaelle re: Big Ben - I said "et cetera". :-)

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 20:53:00 -0400

nechamaelle:

(via inothernews)

Yes, referring to both Big Ben and Little Ben. (Which are both located in London. FYI, I don’t live there. But I did do the red bus tour there one time and I did see it.

Was there something else you were trying to say?

Wow, you truly are insufferable aren’t you? You may not live in London but surely you’re familiar with a certain analog clock. If you’re still struggling to understand, hopefully this will help. You fail at proving a point, nobody deserves a harder slap than you right now. ARROGANT IDIOT SLAP!

iammattjordan: barelysarcasm: Saturday? Oh, just revising,...

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 19:37:00 -0500

iammattjordan:

barelysarcasm:

Saturday? Oh, just revising, dicking around - doing the Matt Jordan, wearing a Lauren Zettler t-shirt over a purple piece… You know how I do - procrastinating… ADD and shit… yeah, that’s it.

The Matt was meant to be comfy, and it actually kind of helps procrastination.. so sorry for that bro =/.

We here at slap club have a special variation of “The Matt”, though it is only for you Matt Jordan.

It starts off as normal, hand behind the head, comfy… but here lies the crucial difference.

Right when you least expect it, “The Matt” comes flying out from behind and onto your face and becomes THE SLAP.

I call it “The Slap Jordan”.

Sean Connery as bond makes me spine-shiver.

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 10:05:46 -0500

(via pie0)

You as a person makes me palm-shiver.

Someone please slap me for speaking in the third person.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:19:36 -0500

(via shebs)

Your wish is my command

*SLAP*

Poem for Licky

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:18:00 -0500

inothernews:

Slapping, I’d rather be,

a face slapping symphony:

more slaps,

more slaps,

on beach

in Aruba.

Fixed.

LOL.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:27:57 -0500

onlymichelle:

It’s just the internet. Stop letting it take over your life. These people don’t really know you so stop acting like they can hurt your feelings. Don’t put my name in your mouth if you don’t know me, silly.

SO SAYS TARA FUCKING MICHELLE.

SLAP.

drunk IMing is fun.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:26:29 -0500

(via pie0)

Slapping people like you is even more fun.

Photo

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:29:22 -0500